by B.J. on 9/22/2002 01:17:00 PM 0 comments Print this post

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[Sliced and Diced on 12/16/03: I forgot where I found this from, but it's still pretty funny and real imaginative. Dayumn, kids.]

Misuse of the Metaphors and the English Language

This is what happens in college. [No it doesn't, I just found it using UCSC's T3 connection] Enjoy. Found it all here !

The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.
--Unknown

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
--Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington

"Oh, Jason, take me! " she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night [HUN ! Uh uh !].
--Bonnie Speary Devore, Gaithersburg

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
--John Kammer, Herndon

Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.
--Barbara Collier, Garrett Park

It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.
--Marian Carlsson, Lexington

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
--Susan Reese, Arlington

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
--Brian Broadus, Charlottesville

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
--Sue Lin Chong, Washington

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
--Jack Bross, Chevy Chase

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
--Jennifer Hart, Arlington

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