by B.J. on 9/11/2002 07:08:00 AM 0 comments Print this post

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[Yo on 12/16/03, I didn't write this. This type of thing lost its appeal later in the school year when these two dumb girls in my hall posted it on their bulletin board. I put my head in my face and seriously questioned my intelligence after that]

Tribute to America (In Honor of the 2 year of 9/11)

This is just a tribute to the greatest cun-tree in the world to the greatest cun-tree in the world.

Only in America. . .can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in America. . .are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

Only in America. . .do drug stores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America. . .can a disabled combat sleep in a box on the street while a draft dodger sleeps in the white house.

Only in America. . .do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America. . .do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America. . .do we use answering machines to screen calls, and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call, from someone we didn't talk to in the first place.

Only in America. . .do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America. . .do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Pol" in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'blood-sucking creatures'.

Only in America. . .do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

America, the graaaaaaate.

 



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