by B.J. on 12/05/2002 06:27:00 PM 0 comments Print this post

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Avoid the Greyhound as Much as Possible !

. . .except that I CAN'T ! I really don't want to hassle anyone for a ride because I'd feel like a SLEAZE BAG (yeah I know some of you are saying "too late").

In my latest adventure, a freakin' BUM decided to sit next to me even though there were empty spaces elsewhere. I took that as a PERSONAL affront and decided to make this fucker pay by flipping my headphones opposite my ears and CRANKING the volume on that sucker. To NO Avail. Then, I tried FARTING uncontrollably; no response. Failing at this attack, I decided to keep switching the lights ON and OFF. All this activity got me tired, but I only got 2 hours because the dude frickin' smelled like an APPLE that was RAPED by COW CRAP. And when I woke up the last time, my bag that I think was ZIPPED, magically UNZIPPED. So, in conclusion, all I ended up with was an earache and bitter memories by letting this bum sit next to me. Next time, if I get a seat by MYSELF I'll REMEMBER to: at least sit in the aisle rather than by the window, or put a bunch of tissues on the aisle chair, or put fake vomit, or bring a bag, or look like the dirtiest piece of shit on this world, or look like a Bruce-Lee, composed, erect, and quick serial killer.

 



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