by B.J. on 6/25/2003 01:10:00 AM 0 comments Print this post

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Singular Words I Feel Uncomfortable Saying

4. "Love"

What I Think of: A pumping heart and the song, "Two of Hearts" by Stacey Q. There are many emotions attached to this word and so its difficult to express with just words. This lack of a straight meaning makes it hard to say this word.

How to avoid this word: This is a real tough word to avoid, because there's no real substitute. To avoid it as much as possible I say it backwards "Evol"

3. "Breakfast"

What I think of: I always think of some greasy obese bastard in a chef's suit with a beard salivating with tiny bubbles over some bacon and spitting out the bacon on some table. Or that smelly ass egg mcmuffin from McDonalds. Either way, the word just throws off my appetite. What the hell is it with this word ? The "break" syllable pronounced "breck" is a half-ass version of "break", and the "fast" syllable pronounced "fest" is a half-assed version of fast. I'd rather hear the A's pronounced rather than the E's. We already overuse the E's.

How to avoid this word: From now on, I will refer to as "Bray-K", "Big K", "Brizzayk", "Breaks", "Fast Break", or "Break Fast"

2. People's Real Names

What I think of: How awkward and uncomfortable it feels. It's a standard set by people's parents, and it doesn't have much application to me. So I make people more approachable by giving them nicknames.

How to avoid this word: I either directly address people or call 'em out by a nickname. Speaking of which, a very funny blog by Joel.

1. "Cute"

What I think of: A bunny. Big eyes. Nemo lips. The Happy Heart in the Sunshine.

How to avoid this word: Being real specific about what I'm talking about. If it's towards a little 1-year old girl carrying barbecue chips with all this baby fat, I substitute "cute" for "funny", "heelario", "babyish", and "cut-with an 'e'." Towards some Finding Nemo-loving, curvaceous other 19-year old, I say it's "hot", "sexy", "attractive."

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