by B.J. Delas Armas on 10/14/2003 02:10:00 PM 0 comments Print this post

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The Day Loot Bags Got Shot Down

When his mom suggested that he have loot bags for his festive birthday party, the kid responded with a resounding no. What do you think, is he is a kid. Twelve is old enough to drive in the Philippines. But even knowing that, he felt like he cut off his mom, his ever-enthusiastic, made of elastic, never plastic mom, cuddly coodly oodles. However, he knew that he could get loot bags for parties if he ever wanted to because she was just the best.

The chubby, funny kid called her Oodles.

But today there was none of that cuddly coodly oodly crap because it was time to step up to the line. Gunshot ! They were off. Fast. White. Tall. And there was the kid trying to be fast. White. Tall. Nope can't do it, not as a skinny, no-name. Even Stassi with the strong name but weak unathletic legs passed him. He was way ahead of Stassi last week. 28:00 minutes said the clock and the kid fell. Was he going to be cut from the team? What about his algebra shit that could make knots out of a strand of pole and the curvaceous ass of the teacher who taught it, what about history ?

He guesses he'll move down to that algebra class. He was probably never good at Algebra anyway despite being in the honors class. Being good at math was definitely a fluke. Who the hell told him he was good at it ? It was probably that teacher last year who did shit.

But still was he the only person who didn't get what that damn history teacher was talking about ? No. But soon enough yeah, if he didn't find a way to jump start himself so the teacher told him. C+ C- B-, 50s and 60s. Has anyone ever been this dumb ? An F would not stand for fun.

The kid slammed his books. Dad slammed him for being too loud. "What about that algebra ?" Well, what the hell about it. That's not fair, you can't bring that up, stupid. Big eyes pop out.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

Gee, sorry dad, the kid says.

Not, he also says.

He told shut up to a little person(s). so annoyed, so annoyed, omg, shiet.

He can't find my friends anywhere. payce they out dawg, no one wants to play.

Was it because he didn't give them loot bags ? He would have given all the loot bags in the world if anything positive for him showed up (if you haven't noticed it's been negative). But kid didn't have loot bags to give away because he didn't have any of his own. His were shot as if there was a drive-by to personally shoot the bag like there is a personal rain cloud over cartoon characters.

But then he moved out of the house of cook.

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