by B.J. on 10/07/2004 01:27:00 PM 0 comments Print this post

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To Speed or Not To Speed, What Is the Reason

After a a whole summer of slow Sublimish-Santeriaish-Float-on-ish driving, I've gotten re-acquainted with stepping on the gas excessively and steering the car as needed, thereby increasing my speed on the road, out of this newborne necessity to meet temporal deadlines.

But even when I do not have temporal deadlines, I still use excessive speed because I convince myself that I need to be somewhere early so I can get whatever done. I never get whatever it is done cause I just end up sitting in the car and listen to my music. Another reason I like to speed is that don't like being blocked, and conversely I try not to block other people's way as well.

Combining those two purposes, I accidentally fall into this tension that I feel the need to tailgate cars and get pissed off every time someone cuts me off cause they're just blocking the way and about 0.00009 seconds of my time. It's a world all set up in a vacuum in which the purpose is merely to get out of whereever I happen to be. Reason never has the chance to get up and engulf me, in this high speed world in the box that is my car.

Today however, I got out of class and had nowhere to go and started the car off the block in a hurry. "I need to get home, err. . .to do what, I don't know."

As I got saddled behind some old guy with a cowboy hat in a junk car and tension in me started to mount, reason finally stood up and quietly asked, "what the fuck, mayng, what the fuck. . ."

As tension behind this beat-up white car with all the junk in it mounted, reason started to engulf me as well: It's an old guy. He's slowing down.

As desperation my tension mentioned that. . .I. . .could. . .get. . .some. . .where. . .

But the mighty strong reason calmly asked "where ? Just enjoy the ride. Listen to your music." It seems like reason was here to stay and not back down.

Mighty strong reason delivered the knockout blow dissipating tension with this statement, "If you enjoy the ride, you'll be better at sex for your partner cause you're not so focused on the purpose, but the ride." Ahhhh. . .

What was my purpose again ?

As reason and thought completely took over, my spirit fingers slowly steered the car and my mind jazzed up to go cruisin.' And I was having fun. There wasn't a purpose to actually having fun. I mean I already have known/theorized those purposes including that knockout blow for a long time, developed when I let reason take over --- taking over and bringing me back. Good lord, I became reason's bitch --- it was hegemony. But still I managed to keep control. And mostl importantly, I had fun.

And having fun is not a purpose. It just is.

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