Well, Fuck You Too

by B.J. Delas Armas on 10/24/2007 09:19:00 PM 0 comments Print this post

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Today, I went to the park to play my round of football/basketball. Football/basketball a game where someone tries to kick a soccer ball into the basketball hoop.

This fuckhead couple comes in while I'm clearly playing and using the hoop. They decide to play a game. Now, I don't mind shooting around, while I'm shooting around, but where's your courtesy? Can you wait? I had to wait, why can't you?

Oh is it because I look like a quiet guy, I'm not going to say anything.

Well, I just proved you right.

I hate being a pushover. I so badly wanted to Ong bak that motherfucker with chop sticks and rape the grass off his stupid bitch. Noting that USC sweatshirt this asshole had on, I really wanted to say to them things like "what the dorm room wasn't good enough for you two?" These are the times that I wish I had steel spikes at the bottom of my shoes. It would serve the purpose of eliminating unnecessary additions to our gene pool.

So to express my anger, I was trying to let it out in various ways.

First way, I kicked the soccer ball as hard as I can against the trash can. 3 times.

First time, I missed the goddamn ball and hit it awkwardly. I still had to chase it. Second time, perfect hit, but could've been harder. Third time, I missed the trash can and it sailed to that stupid fucking couple.

Then I decided to kick the steel trash can.

It made a booming noise, and those fuckheads took notice. I felt it.

I wanted to do it again!

I wanted to smash it, desensitize my leg, and smash the can like a Yaya Toure or Didier Drogba kick with the Tony Jaa smoothness and fluidity.

I decided that after I made my last kick shot, I would kick the trash can again. After all, this would assert my presence on the court and show them that shouldn't have fucked with a crazy person.

So I made the shot.

Crazy person indeed. The kind that belongs in a halfway house.

My big toe took up the brunt of the pain. I thought to myself, "so is this what broken toes feel like?" I didn't kick it with the laces.

I couldn't kick the soccer ball again if I wanted to.

I really hate people.

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