What Girls Really Say With Their Spring Time Fashion

by B.J. on 3/17/2004 01:33:00 PM 0 comments Print this post

I love spring time cause the skirts come out ("especially in Detroit, whe da bitches meet" - Benzino ) and all of a sudden there's a variety of revealing clothing, all of which says to the world: I'm OPEN for banging ! It's as if the plague of bats and flies has flown out out of that lil happy center they all cover up now that evil winter has gone and its time for those respective animals hiding in their shady, damp little homes, i.e. the lil happy centers to migrate. On the asses that these girls so openly reveal, they might as well tattoo bang ba bang bang bang bang bang on every girl who "acts like a girl" in the world !

Weeeee !

And damn, I can't quit staring there. I'm an ass guy, really (and you'll probably think I'm an an ass of a guy after you read this). It's tofu king addicting. I look at almost any ass and always try to pick up apart what they're trying to say with their clothing.

What Girls Really Say With Their Spring Time Fashion
For instance,

Yellow Booty shorts especially ones that have the Initials of the college printed on that ass: I always think of Ja Rule's "Always on Time" and Ashanti's voice singing the hook and the euphoric tone that plays right before the beat actually begins. Then a visual image comes to mind of some Santa Cruz at Cowell white girl looking helpless in booty shorts and spaghetti straps in her dorm room with lights low looking all tired closing the blinds and ready to get fucked by some tall half-witted short-haired jackass named Jordan (who will then add a "Knight" to his last name and proceed to do stupid dance moves and tell her how he can give it to her, of course in a masculine way).

White jean shorts: Rock the boat ! Change positions. Stroke it for me. Aaliyah's words not mine.

Blue jean shorts: That's sooooooooooo (queer eye voice) 1996. You know with a wide array of other colors like pink and white to emphasize how girly you are and how much you want to get humped, blue just don't cut it in this day in age. In fact blue jean skin-revealers have become really G rated in comparison to other vibrant colors.

Blue jean mini-skirt: (See blue jean shorts above)

Brown corduroy skirt: : P

Long slit: Ba ba ba ba bang (to the James Bond theme). It reminds me of Babs Bunny trying to bump her hip against Bugs or something. Or actually Lola in Spacejam.

The flowy skirt that is short: I always think they're going to go dirty dancing, which is good, but it's really not that attractive for some reason. I always wonder how many STDs the girl that wears this has.

Tight short long mini-skirt: I wonder if she made poo in the last few hours. If she forgot to wipe, then I wonder if that poo would permeate the skirt in smell and see. Slam her to the bed, and bang. Repeat.

Cargo mini-skirt: I think the girl has been swatting flies down there for a few hours. The material cargos are made of tends to trap heat and I can't imagine the upside down smile being not damp and shady with a few flies and stuff there.

Long mini-skirt with high heels: The girl wants some guy to do a tip, tap, tippity, tappada, and ultimately tap that ass and bang the fuckin shit outta me. (Or fuckin bang the shit outta me.)

Tight pants: Oh just take it off. You know you want to. Then I wonder how it would smell after I took it off and start wondering what I wonder about cargo skirts.

Long flowy skirt: Oh I wish you show'd more of that ass, you slut.

That's all I have folks. I know I know that this post needs visuals. . .if only I had a camera for an eye (that's an idea).

(BTW, It's also a given that any girl with short shorts who lays on her stomach just wants to get fucked (or fuck.)

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by B.J. on 1/02/2004 01:19:00 PM 0 comments Print this post

Wi-meh, Wi-meh HEY !

Welcome back, Me !

And I'm a guy, so I'll start off by saying. . .SEX !

Bang ! Fuck ! Wow ! Moaning sounds moaning sounds, yeah, ass-slapping, (for some reason I'm getting an image of some dude mock saying "uhhhh"). . .and all that jazz with Catherine Zeta Jones. :to the tune of Sex and the City cause I just heard it this morning and thought it was catchy: Bang ba bang bang bang bang ! (You can even hum the tune to sex: sex se se se se se se) Sex. Mating. Breeding !

I mean, why the fuck do we all like fucking ? It's just a matter of some organs getting stimulated right ? Why not stimulate something useful, like your stomach so you don't end up with a bad fuckin' back ?

Is breeding the only real way to leave your mark on the world in the whole context of history of everything ?

As a member of the most powerful species on planet Earth, we have seen other humans leave their marks on the world in other ways other than 2 humans banging the shit out of each other like Leonardo Da Vinci being the genius of all time and them Greek and Roman philosophers doing their thinking and musing croips 2000 years ago. Lineages aren't as important anymore as much as what you do "in being a productive member of society (though I fail to see how giving yourself raises and gauging people out of their money is productive)." So banging the shit out of each other has taken a seat to establishing identities and stuff like that.

However, for women, banging or suggestion of banging is still the primary way that they leave their marks on the world. Rare is the popular movie that has a girl as the lead character not falling in love with some studly-looking cross-eyed dumbarse to bang them in not only 55 but 57 different places (girls are very stupid sometimes thinking what else they can jam up their stuffs much like guys with their brains lodged in their firefighters, [last name here]s ). I always walk into my sister's all-girls school and shake my head at how their existence will ultimately depend on how good they looked and who they've gotten fucked by. Sad but true shit, which will seem to always be true as long as males and females continue to look much more differently and males continue their dominance of e'rything that is good and holy so help you god.

How has this happened ?

Probably cause girls are caught in this cycle that they are weaker because they're the ones getting penetrated. And they propogate the cycle by getting the clothes that are defined as for "girls" and all that isht. We evolved from chimps, and I for one can't really tell the external difference between a male and female chimp other than by looking at level in front where a door can hit ya where dee lord split ya (in forensics I know you check the angle of a pubic bone; the female always has a wider pelvic bone). But of course, that species has its own mating rituals and I will continue to wonder how sex sex has determined the being of more than half the world's population.

Man, human girls are fucked. Still. And too many are Jessica Simpson slapbutts who don't notice and like it. Or maybe they find comfort that way and the independent woman is a slapbutt. Confoozing.

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